A. K .A. Fever 3) Are You Warm?
by Sandry Alanna
Summary: This is a really, really strange fanfic. We wrote it high on turkey sandwiches on a Sunday afternoon. What can I say... or Ahh, what should I say? Are you warm?


**_  
_**

Are You Warm? A.K.A Fever III  
By Sandry and Alanna_  
_

  
A/N: Yes, this opening scene is REALLY what life is like at our house... are you worried yet? This is how Harry Potter changed our humdrum boring existence....  
  
(The scene: Alanna and Sandry's Office. Alanna is sprawled on Sally Bear, a great big bear cushion. Sandry is standing above her and stating various facts about Alanna.)  
  
Sandry: Quick, she's going into convulsions! Let me give her the heimlich maneuver!   
  
Alanna: *no comment*  
  
Sandry: *Unexpressional voice* You're warm. Your elbow is sharp. *Grabs onto Alanna's legs* You're warm.  
  
Alanna: *kicks her*  
  
Sandry: You're still warm.   
  
Alanna: *crawling* Must get to the computer... must get to the computer...  
  
Harry: *appears* Must you?  
  
Sandry: Are You Warm?  
  
Harry: I'm HOT!! I have a **FEEEEEVERRRRRRRRR!** *starts dancing*  
  
Lupin: Am I going to die in this fanfic? *starts dancing to the tune of Harry* "I have a feever I have a feever!"  
  
Alanna: That's nice.  
  
RonnieKin: Does Ronniekins sound like the name of a sugar high drink?  
  
Sandry: Are you warm?  
  
Hermione: *appears* Obviously, she's cold!  
  
RonnieKin: Gee, that was tough!!!  
  
Lupin: Dee de dee de dee! (falls into a bottom less lake) ::dies::   
  
Sandry: Is he still warm?  
  
Harry: Die die die die die die die die die... *Thanx hermione/mew*   
  
Alanna: Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to you... *hands Hermione an enormous package*  
  
Hermione: Um... thank you. It' s not my birthday... *Opens it* *It is a gigantic ream of paper* *With typing on it*  
  
Alanna: It's a fanfic! Aren't you GLAD?   
  
Hermione: *faints*  
  
Sandry: Are you warm?  
  
Ron: *Unprintable word*  
  
Sandry: Are you warm are you warm are you warm *Turns into an oven*  
  
Hermione: *Reading the fanfic*  
  
~*~*Wavy music*~*~  
  
*~*enter fantasy world*~*  
  
**_It was a dark and story night. All of a sudden, "Nok Nok Nok" sounded on the door._**  
  
Hermione: Um. All right.  
  
Ronniekins: Is it your birthday?  
  
Harry: That does sound like a sugar-free drink...  
  
Alanna: SUGAR FREE?? Evil people.  
  
**_A cloaked figure stepped into the entrance hall. He is wearing a bright purple with pink spots Trilby. *If you don't know what that is, it's a hat*   
  
_**Sandry: Sandrysandrysandrysandrysandrysandrysandry *Turns into Sandry* Phew! That was close...* Breathes heavily*  
  
Ronniekin: Ok. What is with purple and pink spots.  
  
Alanna: Ever the gentleman. Now what was that about a sugar free drink?  
  
**_A lightning bolt illuminated the figure.   
  
_**Hermione: You need a thesaurus.  
  
Ronnikin: I don't know. What about it?  
  
Harry: Thesauruses are evil... Dudley banged one over my head once. That was when I was watching the washing machine on spin cycle. It's very entertaining.  
  
Everyone: ?  
  
Alanna: *sniffs* You were a messed up child...  
  
**_The FIGURE threw off its cloak. Another lightning bolt illuminated the FIGURE'S face. It was...  
  
_**Harry: Voldemort.  
  
Ron: Percy.  
  
Alanna: Elaina.  
  
Draco: A brontosaurus.  
  
_A/N: How did Draco get here? Are you scared yet?  
  
_Hermione: Malfoy. Now that's really scary.  
  
Sandry: I like sugar...  
  
**_A brown blue green brontosaurus.   
  
_**Sandry: Hey! That rhymes with thesaurus!!!! Us, Thesaur! Us! THesaur!  
  
Alanna: *boots sandry away*  
  
Sandry: You're warm.  
  
Draco: Two-thirds right.  
  
Hermione, Harry, Ronniekin: ?  
  
Hermione: You need a You-Know-What.  
  
Harry: *Puts a pot on the stove* *What stove?*  
  
Ronniekin: The one I ordered a minute ago...  
  
Harry: Good service!  
  
Hermione: That's nice.  
  
**_"PEEEEVES!" the brontosaurus bellows. It was Dumbledore, the brontosaurus.  
_**  
Hermione. OH MY> That was strange.  
  
Alanna: *as ola the weird person* *in a bright cheery tone* I'M going to read the dictionary! "Did you know that 'Aardvark' means 'earth pig'?  
  
Sandry: That's nice.   
  
The Ron formerly known as Ronniekin: Since when has my name been THE RON?!?  
  
Alanna: abnegate: To deny or.... OH HERE's YOUR word, Sandry. ABNORMAL!  
  
Sandry: Get on with the fic!  
  
**_Dumbledore threw off his brontosaurus costume and then threw off his Dumbledore costume. It was Lupin. He said, " I am--"  
  
_**Alanna: Ten to one Sandry wants to kill him.  
  
Hermione: This is confusing.  
  
The Ron...: Why doesn't she kill Percy for a change?  
  
Sandry: Hm... Good idea.  
  
Sandry: Just kidding.  
  
**_LUUUPIN! Here to avenge my ...s' deaths! *starts countin' on fingers* There was the hardening paint, and there was the later years in Ron's dream, and then the later years in real life, and then I died in the commentary fanfic, and there were about 20 others, give or take a few...  
  
_**The Ron: Since when has Lupin had a southern accent?  
  
Hermione: I don't know... I just don't know.  
  
Harry: Strange person...  
  
The Ron: Um, what goes into a sugar-free drink?  
  
**_Lupin sits at a table and cheers about Gryffindor winning the Cup House. He drinks a sugar Free drink. THE END.  
  
_**Hermione: CUP HOUSE?  
  
The Ron: I SAID, what goes into a sugar-free drink?  
  
Elaina, Alanna, Tris And Sandry: SUGARRRRRRRRRRR! SHUGARRRRRRR!   
  
Hermione: Carbonated sand, Rye, Yeast, aloe burn gunk, a couple computers, and the most fab ingredient:  
  
Ron: Carbonated Sandry?  
  
Hermione: No, can't you read!  
  
**_Or not... Hermoine said, "How's it going, Lupin? How many times have you died now?"  
"I don't know," Lupin answered. "Um, what's the ghost of a ghost that's the ghost of a ghost?"  
'"A ghost to the power of four," Harry answered.  
  
_**Hermione: YOU MISSPELLED HERMIONE! You called me HER-MOy-N!  
Harry: The most fab ingredient is.... Percy!  
  
The Ron: A sledgehammer to make Percy taste more like lemonade!  
  
Hermione: And.. *starts chanting* Eye of newt, and toe of frog To make the slegehammer taste like *dumps all the ingredients in* (fill in the blank)  
  
**_ Then everybody really cheers when Gryfindor REALLY wins the house cup... THE END FOR REAL.  
  
_**Everybody: But is it...  
  
Hermione: *Puts bottle in freezer*  
  
Timer: *dings*  
  
Everybody: *melts Sugar-Free-Soft-Drink*  
  
Everybody: *drinks SFSD*  
  
The Ron: I love Percy... I love Percy... I love Percy.... I love Percy...  
  
Hermione: I wondered how this would effect everyone..  
  
Alanna: *Stands on her head*  
  
Hermione: *Jumps into the lake*  
  
Sqoustwick the Squid: *Eats her*  
  
Everyone: *cries*  
  
dead Hermione: *Livelivelivelive* *Lives* *dies* *Lives*  
  
Harry:Starts swinging off chandeliers. Starts to smooch with Hermione who is dripping sea water.  
  
Sandry: EEW! Why did I write that in?!  
  
Alanna: Sea water?  
  
Neville: *drinks potion* y=mx+b The square root of 64 is 8. Eight squared is*ppotion starts to wear off* 46.. no... 54? No... 48! No... No.... No.... NO.... No....  
  
Lupin: *dies*  
  
Sandry: Are you warm??  


THE END  



End file.
